How To Change the World

I think I might be on to something. I’ve discovered a way to change the whole world. All you have to do is be an oddball with a problem and whine about it and everyone on the planet has to drop everything and change everything in their lives to soothe your hurt feelings for being different. Although you may think I’m being facetious, I’m actually serious. Let me give you some examples.

If you are allergic to peanuts, don’t learn to deal with it. Why on earth should you do that? It’s much easier to whine about it and pretty soon, there are no peanuts on airplanes anymore and kids can’t bring peanut butter sandwiches to school anymore. Just a little wailing and gnashing of teeth and the whole world becomes a goober free zone to avoid inconveniencing you. Pretty neat, huh?

Coworker wearing perfume you don’t like? Take a page from the anti-smoking lobby and have a hissy-fit about it until the entire office is declared a perfume and cologne free zone. They can’t let you be inconvenienced by those hundreds of other people. They’re not as important as you are, are they? Just think of the office as your own private little world to shape however you wish and pretty soon you’ll find all kinds of things to be offended by. Calendars, cartoons, even the flowers a coworker gets on her anniversary are fair game.

Now we’re cooking. Can’t get around in your wheelchair? Well pitch a fit! Make every business and public building bow to your wishes. It’s not like the inconvenience and expense of changing the world around you is your problem to deal with, heck no. Keep it up and no matter the cost to society, no matter how many businesses go under, eventually you will have access to every place imaginable. Your whole crowd, what is it twenty or so of you, will have their way at the expense of everyone else. Of course, you’ll take a hit on sympathy and goodwill, but it doesn’t matter. It’s a small price to pay for changing the world, isn’t it? And while you’re at it, ask for a good parking spot as a kicker!

Don’t like the discomfort you experience when confronted about your lack of moral clarity? Well don’t just stand for it! Demand the removal of every vestige of religion in every place you find it. Don’t be concerned with providing a replacement, that’s not important. Just squall and babble until the whole world changes to prevent your discomfort. Now, demand schools teach the religious ideology of an enemy intent on destroying your nation and moan about how we have to tolerate and understand them. That’ll make it easier for them to finish changing the world after you get bored with it.

After those warm up exercises you’re ready for something more substantial like eliminating capitalism. Now that you've got that religion stuff suppressed, it's getting easier. Whip up a Global Warming boogie-man and demand the entire world start doing what you say on no real basis whatsoever. Of course, you don’t have to change your lifestyle, only the little people and anyone that disagrees with you will have to actually do anything. Isn’t this fun? Once you get some momentum started, pile on the “right” to healthcare for good measure. Don’t be concerned with the consequences; you haven’t been so far, why start now? Just jump in with your newfound power and start arbitrarily changing anything you don’t agree with or don’t understand and make the world in whatever manner suits your particular desire. Like God did.

Scottie